TwitchFace
(Internet • Communications)
You can be sure that when both your son and father poke you in the digits from the same social medium, the fall of Rome can’t be far behind.
Ha! That was a perfect twoosh!
Which is what they call an exact 140-character post on Twitter, a site where attention deficit disorder is considered a positive attribute.
Whoa! Twoosh again!
(Just for the sake of TwitShock and awe the rest of this blog post will consist solely of perfect twooshes. Go ahead. Count the characters.)
Twitter was created in 2006 to serve mostly as an enhancement device for stalking people without having to leave the comfort of one’s house.
But when it came time to visit with the VC guys, the TwitFounders decided, wisely, to call it a “real-time short messaging service” instead.
Sign up for an account and you’ll see a box at the top of the page. Since you don’t know any better yet, actually answer the query above it.
Of course, nothing happens. Eventually you realize there’s nothing else to do but “find people” and read their 140-character sales pitches.
Soon, strangers begin stalking you, too. I average a new “woman” follower every 3 days, mostly trying to get me to click on porn site links.
People wiser and more Twitchy than I expound on TwitterVirtues. Ask a tough question, they say, and in an instant you receive expert advice.
I gave it a shot, but I must be doing something wrong. “Can someone tell me the name of a good Thai restaurant near Katy at I-10 ?” I asked.
“Ya, TwitchFace, I got something good for you to eat. Right off of Mason,” a user named ZeroXtalpe responded. “What kind of car you drivin?”
I suppose it’s only a matter of time before, somewhere in America, someone commits TwitterMurder, and the headlines and hand-wringing begin.
Yet what can one expect? Like its nemesis, Facebook (and more about that later), Twitter is only a social tool for digging through humanity.
No matter how good your shovel is, it still can’t turn rat shit into rubies, or alter the social fabric. Yeah, baby, another perfect swoosh!
→ B.Dunn, Sep 03, 2009, 08 57 am
